The Deception of Conception

I hadn't been feeling myself lately. At all. My 23rd birthday had come and gone. I was anything but excited when it had finally arrived. My emotions had run rampent, assuming full control! As if to say, "we'll take it from here, Ashley." I became self inveloped by an irrational state of mind. I was a loose cannon ready to go off at any moment! I just could not understand what was going on to cause myself to become so unstable. This isn't usual behavior a normal human being would portray. Especially right before your birthday! But through the midst of it all, the love of my life, my amazing and wonderful fiance, Cody made it to be one of the most special birthday's I have ever had. And after I was finished crying for no apparent reason, I really enjoyed that surprise party. 

Something just didn't seem right. I figured it was just a bad month. March definately wasn't my month. But as the month came to an end, my change in behavior didn't. In fact, I could add another strange ingredient to the recipe. Fatigue. Oh, the fatigue. As if 8 hours of sleep wasn't enough, I had to add 5 more after I got home from work! I really tried to stay awake. I did. As I'd snuggle up with Cody on the couch to watch a movie I tried my best to keep both eyes open! Even at least one. But soon, gravity took it's toll and those eyelids dropped faster than you can peel a banana! And as I drifted away into a deep slumber, I'd suddenly awaken only to find the rolling of the credits and Cody without a blanket. which of course was wrapped around my sprawled out body. Damnit not again! "That's ok babe. ." Cody would exclaim. "It's only the fourth time this week you've fallen asleep on me, robbed me of warmth and started snoring so loud I had to turn the volume up a few notches."

 I went on with my daily routine trying to ignore the fact that anything so much as a chipped nail drove me to tears. It wasn't but days later that one particular smell tied everything together. A fragrance so pungent. So distinct that it all brought meaning to the madness. Sanity to the insanity I had been experiencing. It was a Thursday afternoon. Barely able to keep my eyes focused on my computer screen at work I suddenly got a whiff of something so strong I about fell off my chair! "Do you smell that?" I whispered to a neighboring coworker to my right. "Smell what?" she exclaimed seeming quite clueless. "Chlorine! Like my desk is floating in a giant indoor swimming pool or something! Can't you smell it?!" "I can't say that I can, no." she replied and continued typing. I was overwhelmed by the aroma of cleaning products which apparently only I was able to notice so I left my desk to investigate. I opened the door to the office and walked out into the hallway. I walked and walked and suddenly stopped. There it was. Like a lightbulb. But instead of illuminating over my head it was in the shape of a Caution Wet Floor sign propped inbetween the restroom door. The custodian was making her rounds, cleaning the restroom and for some reason I could smell it all the way from where I was working! Impossible? Apparently not. I suddenly felt my stomach drop. Could I?? No... I couldn't be. I'm not even late! Right? As I let these thoughts fill my head I started to wonder. Then wondering led to panicking! I knew if I didn't find out for sure these thoughts would keep filling up my mind and spilling out my mouth. Soon I'd be answering customer service calls saying, "Thank you for calling Prepass. My name is Ashley. Can I get your name and do you think I could be pregnant?" It was obvious I couldn't concentrate long enough to comprehend the work I was trying to accomplish so I took an early lunch and headed for the grocery store. I picked out a test. My hands shook as I handed it to the cashier and slid my debit card to pay for it. I rushed into the bathroom test in hand, ready to take the most important tinkle of my life! As I held the test in my grasp, awaiting my fate I suddenly felt calm, collected and confident. 

Then I knew, no I was POSITIVE. . .

I'm pregnant.