Tonight's Breaking News:

Today marks the 8th month of pregnancy and I'm loving it! I spend most of my days basking in the glory of what is Zyan. I imagine him floating around on an imaginary inflatable inner-tube enjoying the waves of my day to day routine. As I bend down to pick up whatever I have dropped (since I am now more clumsy than ever) I'd imagine him taking a wild turn down the Womb-o-matic! And there's no height requirement for this roller coaster ride folks. His movements are much more prominent now. The "baby bump" every expectant mother develops is starting to look more like a baby boulder at this stage in pregnancy. At least that's what it feels like your carrying around in your mid-section. 
My mother felt Zyan kick for the first time the other day. Her reaction was that of her first initial reaction when I broke the news of my pregnancy. It was just shortly after I found out. I decided to have the family over for dinner to break the news. I had just finished the final touches to my spinach artichoke dip when I heard a knock at my front door. My sister and mother had arrived. My dad had to work late so he was unable to make it. I invited them in and quickly ran into the kitchen to pull the chicken corden bleu from the oven. "It's so nice of you to have us over for dinner, Ashley!" my mother exclaimed as she helped put food on the table. "Oh, well you know I like to show off my cooking skills." I remarked. Cody appeared from the other room and gave hugs to both my mother and sister. "Smells good in here babe!" He slid into the kitchen to grab drinks for everyone. 
I hadn't put much thought into how I would unfold the news that Cody and I were expecting. My family isn't easily surprised. During my teenage years, any headache, upset stomach or food aversion I had ever experienced meant I was knocked up according to my mom. That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if she already figured it out by now! 
As we all sat down to dinner, the usual casual dining conversation began to flow. How has work been? How are you? How am I? How do you do? and so on and so forth. I felt a nudge under the table. Cody gave me a look as if to say "are you going to tell them??" I shot a glance back that answered, "I don't think it'd come out very clear with all this chicken in my mouth!" That being said, well with my eyes I finished chewing my food and took a very hard swallow. "So I did invite you guys over not just to feed your tummy's full of my delicious home cooking, but because Cody and I have some news." They knew. Just the look on both of their faces was indication enough. "I'm pregnant!" I announced as I grabbed Cody's hand underneath the table. They were thrilled. The whole, "I had a feeling you were going to say that" remark shortly followed after their congratulations. My mother seemed hesitant at first until realizing I'm not in my teens anymore and that it wouldn't be so bad to become a grandmother again. After all those times she had jumped to the conclusion that I was pregnant I finally beat her to the punch! 
My family has been such an amazing support through my whole pregnancy. Ever since that dinner they have been nothing but supportive and understanding. I don't know where I would be without them. 

Snowflakes and Salsa

     I know some of you can relate on some kind of level when I say finding out your pregnant can surface so many different emotions you never knew you had. If you are anything like me, you most likely experienced them all simultaneously. I mean, I know I'm a woman and our bodies are equipped with all the right parts to propagate a human being (if not multiple human beings) but does that mean I am one of these women? I went back and forth from shock to denial. Denial to being overjoyed. Then back to denial. It's the weirdest thing but you actually start denying the fact that the test came out positive and that it must be faulty. Even after taking 3 more tests and them all coming back with the same result, you are sure it must be the brand. I'm sure this thought process has crossed the minds of some ladies out there whose experienced an unexpected pregnancy. I became so excited but so scared at the same time. I began saying, "No way. . No way." Then I began laughing as my eyes began to welt up with tears. "I can't believe this." I said, over and over again. I kept this full on conversation going with myself for a good half hour in my car. Anybody who passed me on the road either thought I had an imaginary friend sitting in my passenger seat or I was singing along to a compilation of disney songs. At that point, that was the most important day of my life and I will never forget it as long as I live. Each thought was mine to have. Mine to express. Mine to experience for the first time with me and only me. 
     I arrived home, antsy as ever. Cody wouldn't be home for another hour. Another whole hour! Which seemed like an eternity in my eyes. I had went to the store the night before and purchased all the ingredients to make Texas Caviar, a twist on the average salsa dish. I had a craving for beans that night(which makes sense to me now) and since this casserole-like salsa compiled of 4 different kinds, it deemed necessary to make. Seeing as how I had an hour to kill, I started pulling all the ingredients out of the fridge and placing them on the counter. I figured, the more I'd chop, dice and mix the less I'd think, analyze and obsess. It was the month of April and there was snow on the ground. Any other person would think this is absolutely absurd weather to be having in April! Unless of course, you've lived in Utah. I had opened the 4 cans of beans and dumped them into a bowl, along with corn and peas. I had just started chopping up a green bell pepper when I heard the rustling of keys in the door. My heart was beating out of my chest! I started to bite my lip and shuffle my feet. . .Cody's home! 
     The door swung open and in came a cool rush of fresh, cold air. Cody walked in with a smile on his face and a skip in his step. He rushed up to me and held out his arm as if in wonderment of his jacket sleeve. "Ash, come here! Lookie! Look at this. . ." Before he could finish his sentence I rushed up to him just as quickly and wrapped my arms around his neck. I squeezed so tightly that our breathing became in sync. It was quiet. I couldn't utter a word. He finally broke the silence, "I smell. . .dirt and bell peppers. What are you cooking!?" I pulled away laughing. I couldn't help but smile. He knew something was up. But what? He had no idea. "Close your eyes and open your hands!" I demanded. With a confused look on his face, he engaged in my request. I grabbed the test and set it lightly within his opened hands. Backing up slowly, I took a mental picture of this moment. There he was, pregnancy test placed inside the palms of his hands with absolutely no clue he was going to be a father. He then opened his eyes. His mouth widened. An eyebrow raised as he glanced at the test. He glanced up at me, then back down at the test and asked, "who's. . is this?" "It's mine, babe!" I replied, suddenly becoming flushed in the face. "Are you sure?" his head tilting to one side. "BABE!" His grin widened as he shook his head. "I ran in here to show you this enormous snowflake that had fallen and placed itself perfectly on the sleeve of my jacket but I think you've got me beat!" 
     All the worries and speculation soon drifted from my mind. The shock was still holding strong but the panic I had felt earlier in the day soon disintegrated as I stood before Cody and that pregnancy test. "How do you feel about it, hon?" Cody asked as he inched towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Of all the things I could tell you right now, the one word that sticks out the most is blessed. I feel truly blessed." And I knew he felt the same. 





Mothers Day- May 8th :D






Easter- April 24th Me, baby Z, Milly and Cody 

The Deception of Conception

I hadn't been feeling myself lately. At all. My 23rd birthday had come and gone. I was anything but excited when it had finally arrived. My emotions had run rampent, assuming full control! As if to say, "we'll take it from here, Ashley." I became self inveloped by an irrational state of mind. I was a loose cannon ready to go off at any moment! I just could not understand what was going on to cause myself to become so unstable. This isn't usual behavior a normal human being would portray. Especially right before your birthday! But through the midst of it all, the love of my life, my amazing and wonderful fiance, Cody made it to be one of the most special birthday's I have ever had. And after I was finished crying for no apparent reason, I really enjoyed that surprise party. 

Something just didn't seem right. I figured it was just a bad month. March definately wasn't my month. But as the month came to an end, my change in behavior didn't. In fact, I could add another strange ingredient to the recipe. Fatigue. Oh, the fatigue. As if 8 hours of sleep wasn't enough, I had to add 5 more after I got home from work! I really tried to stay awake. I did. As I'd snuggle up with Cody on the couch to watch a movie I tried my best to keep both eyes open! Even at least one. But soon, gravity took it's toll and those eyelids dropped faster than you can peel a banana! And as I drifted away into a deep slumber, I'd suddenly awaken only to find the rolling of the credits and Cody without a blanket. which of course was wrapped around my sprawled out body. Damnit not again! "That's ok babe. ." Cody would exclaim. "It's only the fourth time this week you've fallen asleep on me, robbed me of warmth and started snoring so loud I had to turn the volume up a few notches."

 I went on with my daily routine trying to ignore the fact that anything so much as a chipped nail drove me to tears. It wasn't but days later that one particular smell tied everything together. A fragrance so pungent. So distinct that it all brought meaning to the madness. Sanity to the insanity I had been experiencing. It was a Thursday afternoon. Barely able to keep my eyes focused on my computer screen at work I suddenly got a whiff of something so strong I about fell off my chair! "Do you smell that?" I whispered to a neighboring coworker to my right. "Smell what?" she exclaimed seeming quite clueless. "Chlorine! Like my desk is floating in a giant indoor swimming pool or something! Can't you smell it?!" "I can't say that I can, no." she replied and continued typing. I was overwhelmed by the aroma of cleaning products which apparently only I was able to notice so I left my desk to investigate. I opened the door to the office and walked out into the hallway. I walked and walked and suddenly stopped. There it was. Like a lightbulb. But instead of illuminating over my head it was in the shape of a Caution Wet Floor sign propped inbetween the restroom door. The custodian was making her rounds, cleaning the restroom and for some reason I could smell it all the way from where I was working! Impossible? Apparently not. I suddenly felt my stomach drop. Could I?? No... I couldn't be. I'm not even late! Right? As I let these thoughts fill my head I started to wonder. Then wondering led to panicking! I knew if I didn't find out for sure these thoughts would keep filling up my mind and spilling out my mouth. Soon I'd be answering customer service calls saying, "Thank you for calling Prepass. My name is Ashley. Can I get your name and do you think I could be pregnant?" It was obvious I couldn't concentrate long enough to comprehend the work I was trying to accomplish so I took an early lunch and headed for the grocery store. I picked out a test. My hands shook as I handed it to the cashier and slid my debit card to pay for it. I rushed into the bathroom test in hand, ready to take the most important tinkle of my life! As I held the test in my grasp, awaiting my fate I suddenly felt calm, collected and confident. 

Then I knew, no I was POSITIVE. . .

I'm pregnant.